Struggling Between The Immensities

Name:
Location: Wilmore, Kentucky, United States

I am a very complex person, with many facets that few people, if any, know about. That is probably because, while I am an open book, I leave it up to others to actually take the initiative to turn the pages. This blog is just a place for me to put down random thoughts and to think aloud sometimes. If you are reading this, thank you for your time and blessings to you.

Monday, March 12, 2007

What the Funk

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. For the past few months I have been in a funk over my mother's death. The holidays without her really did a job on me. But I am coming out of it now, having forced myself to start going back to church starting on Ash Wednesday. Until then, I would keep my mind occupied at work so I wouldn't have to think about it. I would go home each evening and just sit, watching TV and eating. I didn't even leave the house on the weekends. But, after much prayer and internal effort, I am coming out of it and trying to get things back on track. I am reading through the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church each evening and praying the rosary daily. I am also reading a couple of books by Father Raniero Cantalamessa, the pastor for the pontifical household in Rome, who spoke at the Beeson Lectures here at Asbury Seminary in Wilmore. The book I like the most so far is titled Poverty. It was hard to read because it struck something deep inside me that made each page feel like I was trudging through knee-deep mud. But in the end, it was well worth it and I plan to buy it to read again.


Another change, is that I did my first confession on Friday, March 2, and my first communion on Sunday, March 4. I am now officially a member of the Roman Catholic Church. The ceremony was simple enough, but going up to receive our Blessed Lord's body for the first time had my nerves tied in a bundle. After that first partaking of the Eucharist, I knew that what the last nine years had been leading me to was our Lord's body and blood at His table. Now that I am official, I will take some time to study things, pray, and decide if I want to pursue a vocation, such as Third Order (Secular) Franciscans, or maybe even a first order vocation. So, I am back and Pax et Bonum to you all.