Kay Ellen (Daugherty) Masters (1939-2006)

My mother passed away at 12:55 AM Tuesday, October 17, 2006. I have said this several times and later I wonder what people will think if she isn't really dead. Then I realize that she really is. I endured the viewing and funeral. I know it is true. At times I am fine as ever. Then, I will see something, hear something, think of something, and start to cry uncontrollably for just a few minutes. Then I am okay again. I see something and think that I need to remember to tell mom about it, then I remember. I get back to Kentucky and think that I need to call my mom and let her know I got back okay, then I remember. I think of something I need to ask her, then I remember. I don't know how I could forget this since I physically feel like I have a hole in me between my heart and stomach. It is sinking in just how much a part of my life she is. For the last five years I have driven up to Indiana at least once a month, more often twice a month, and when she was sick, every weekend to do thinks for her. I fell like my life is now a large, empty, dark room where once her life filled it. Occasionally I hear a voice coming from the darkness saying, "I'm sorry." Then silence again and I am alone. I know that God will see me through this and that I will get over it, despite the fact that I will never forget her. But for now, I hurt. A tremendous, empty hurt. God help me, for He is the only One who can fill that hole in my life that mom previously occupied.